What Will People Think? The Fear That Holds Us Back

Fear is a powerful force. We fear failure. We fear success. We fear the messy middle - when we've started something, but it's not going as planned. We fear writing the book that never gets published or launching the business that might not work. Whenever we are about to do something that is daring and bold, one of the greatest fears that holds us back is this:

 

What will people think?

 

What will my friends think? Will they judge me? Will they reject me?

Will they see me as an imposter, a fraud?  This fear is deeply ingrained in us. As human beings, we are wired for connection and approval — in evolutionary terms our survival depended on the group accepting and taking care of us. Being cast out from the group meant certain death. This is why today, when thinking about a dream project -  while the stakes are no longer life or death, the fear of disapproval and rejection is still powerful enough to keep us playing small. It stops us from taking risks, saying yes to opportunities, and pursuing the things we most long to do.

 

Why It's Time to Stop Waiting

 

The famous Nike slogan, Just Do It, acknowledges the presence of fear. The word just acknowledges the fear and recognizes that we hesitate, we overthink, we doubt ourselves -  but tells us to act anyway. Everything courageous that we long to do comes with fear. The shadow of fear tells me that something matters, and the more it matters the bigger the shadow.

 

The Truth About Friends and Fear

 

We fear losing the approval of others. That if we chase our dreams we will lose relationships, respect, or belonging. But when we take bold steps, our friendships naturally divide into two groups:

 

  1. True Friends – These are the people who support us and cheer us on, even when they don’t fully understand your path. They overcome their own fears for us and offer encouragement when we are scared and doubt ourselves.

 

  1. The doubters – And then there are those who judge, distance themselves, or subtly discourage us. Some do it because they’re afraid for us. They want us to stay safe, to stick with what’s predictable. Often, those who resist your growth the most are well-meaning family members who want to protect us. But their fears do not have to become our fears.

 

You Don’t Have to Convince Anyone

 

Not everyone will understand your decisions or your journey. And that’s okay. Over time, your results will speak for themselves. Some people will always judge you, not because of what you do, but because of what it represents to them. Your courage forces them to confront their own fears, their own unfulfilled dreams. That discomfort is theirs to carry, not yours.

 

Facing Your Own Fears

 

It’s not just the opinions of others that create fear—we have our own internal battles, too. We fear financial instability, uncertainty, loneliness, and the possibility of failure.

We fear proving the naysayers right. But confidence is not about never being criticized it’s about knowing that you will survive the criticism. It is about knowing that if things do not go to plan you will figure it out.

 

The Illusion of Approval

You cannot govern your life by what other people think. When I fly over a city at night, I look down at all the lights and remind myself—there are millions of people down there, most of whom don’t know me, don’t think about me, and don’t care what I do. The same is true when I look at the stars. My worries, my fears, my concerns about others’ opinions—they are so small in the vastness of the cosmos.

 

The truth is, most people aren’t thinking about you at all. They’re thinking about themselves, their own dreams, their own fears. And yet, we waste so much energy worrying about their opinions.

 

If you have a dream, just do it.

If you’re a writer, write.

If you’re a painter, paint.

If you’re an entrepreneur, build.

 

The same people who doubt you now might later say, I always knew she was destined for greatness. Their opinions shift constantly—so why let them dictate your choices?

 

Keep Moving Forward

 

Once you've taken the leap and created something—sent it off for approval, launched your project, pitched your idea—what do you do next? You keep going.

Don’t wait in agony for approval. Don’t overthink it. Don’t put your life on pause. If one project doesn’t work, pivot. If you get a rejection, learn from it and try again. Momentum is key—keep working, keep creating, keep pushing forward.

Because in the end, the only opinion that truly matters is your own.

Previous
Previous

The New Perspectives Coaching Program

Next
Next

Unlocking DEI Success: A Comprehensive Strategy Guide